Saturday, May 10, 2014

Kehadapan Bang Uddin yang berdarah pahlawan,


          Masihkah kau ingat hari itu? Ketika hujan sedang renyai, dan angin membuai-buai, aku pandang tepat ke dalam mata kau. Dari saat itu, aku tahu ini adalah ketikanya di mana aku jatuh cinta. Jatuh cinta jatuh hati jatuh kasih pada kau buat kali yang entah ke berapa. 

Aku tarik tanganmu, lalu membersihkan darah yang mengalir itu menggunakan hujung selendangku. Aku lapkan perlahan-lahan. Bermacam-macam benda yang sedang aku fikirkan. Aku tahu aku telah mengatakan sesuatu yang salah, aku menyesal ikutkan hati yang marah. Aku mahu meminta maaf, tapi bagaimana? Lidah kelu mencari perkataan yang benar dan tepat. Mata tak dapat nak memberikan sepenuh perhatian, kerna cuba melirik-lirik ke arah kau. Aku rasa hilang. Aku tahan rasa mahu menangis kerana aku tak tahu mahu buat apa, bagaimana...

Aku cuba lagi beranikan diri untuk memandang ke dalam matamu. Kau sedang memerhatikan aku. Kau katakan, "maaf". Aku tunduk sebak. Kerana aku tahu yang salah sebenarnya aku, tapi kau tak pernah marahkan aku. Kau sabar. Kau katakan maaf kerana kau sayang. Kerana kau tak mahu kita berdiam, kerana kau tahu aku tak alah sendiri.

Jadi katakan, bagaimana untuk tak jatuh cinta dengan kau? Orang yang tahu apa yang aku fikirkan, apa yang aku mahukan, tanpa perlu aku bilang beribu berjuta kali. Orang yang menjaga hati aku dengan berjuta daya semampunya. Orang yang menyayangi aku seikhlas cinta. Orang yang cuba memelihara aku seluruh nyawa. Orang yang buat aku rasa seperti dunia lepas, dunia sekarang, dan dunia akan datang adalah aku yang punya. Orang yang buat aku paling bahagia.

Orang yang sama, yang dah lama menjadi raja hati. Orang yang mengajar aku rasa cinta, sabar, dan percaya. Orang yang buat aku yakin dengan "jangan risau, semuanya baik-baik sahaja".



Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Some people


Some people were born without arms and legs, but heart where they keep God inside.

Some people were born without mamma and papa, without siblings, and alone; but believe they've got God by their sides.

Some people were born without shelter, but know that they are shielded by God.

Some people were born without food and drinks, but still feel nourished by God.

Some people were born denied of education, but found their very own creative way to achieve intellectual, moral and social education in the name of God.

Some people were born completely and beautifully from head to toe, with brain and heart. Some people got to spend time with family; feeling the touch of mamma and papa, but then got them taken away--- and blame God. Some people got a house although think that it is not a home, and blame God for that. Some people have meals like a king, but still claim that God has given them nothing and blame him. Some people are well-educated, but so self-centered to believe in God. Some people blame God instead. Some people are so shameful and ungrateful.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

December


In this coldest spell
The days are abridged
The fog is indistinct
I wonder what the nights may bring.
Then the nights turn lagging
Swaying emptiness --- a well described
Alongside this pathos
Which belongs to this wight.
From this sight, I see
The crystals are cascading
Much as within walls --- and poles apart
The dream of you snowed my heart.
This solstice could distance the pair afar.
Yet this spell
This winter
This December
Only makes me love you, beyond measure.





Thursday, November 15, 2012

When I Look At You


When I look at you
And you're already looking at me
It makes me love you
More than a song could sing
Longer than my life could been.
When I look at you
And see those feelings you hide, inside
I know I'll love you
Either when the rainbow is up
Nor when the day is dark.
When I look at you
And my lips suddenly smile
I know, love means you
Because there is just no reasons why
Yet your love keeps me alive.
When I look at you
And trying to make you understand
That I just love you
The way you are being you
And the fact that you are true.
When I look at you
And even when I do not --- too
I know I love you.
I really love you,
And I will always do.
                                           
                 
                                      


Saturday, October 6, 2012

The Tune


When out of the blue
I lose my mood
And I sit mute
That's when I am
actually
singing the tune
of missing you.





I miss you.




Thursday, September 6, 2012

Cerita


Kata guruku
tiap hari kita harus menulis
sekurangnya satu
cerita tentang aku
tentang dia, tentang dunia,
tentang mencari syurga.
Kadang kutulis tentang cinta
kerana indahnya, kerana rasanya,
kerana merahnya seasli saga.
Ada juga hari dimana
kucuba menulis tentang derita
tapi bagaimana?
Kecewa sudah menutup mata
dan aku tidak mahu
tulisanku menjadi buta.
Maka kubiarkan sahaja,
kusembunyikannya.
Lagi pula,
dari mana harus kumulakan?
Ada cerita yang bermula tanpa kusedari,
ada cerita yang terhenti sendiri.


Senja,
6 September '12.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Dah lama


Dah lama
aku tak berpuisi
melantangkan sepi
mengapresiasi geri
menghitung hari
menyanyikan mimpi

Dah lama
kepada 'Jam 2 pagi'
aku kongsi emosi
tentang rajuk berahi
dan bunga mewangi
yang silih-berganti
kerana aku pasti
esok, 'Jam 2 pagi'
akan datang lagi

Dah lama
hati ini berhati-hati
tak mahu mementingkan diri.



Postscript : Puisi, dah lama kau bersembunyi.



Puncak Alam,
15 Ogos 2012.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

I breathe your name.


I breathe your name
It's my absolute oxygen
Drawing it into everything
From the plain membrane
Up till my hidden brain
So my heart remains pumping
Thank you Mr. Adrenaline
For the butterflies are flying.

I'll be hiccuping when you're missing,
that is why once I breathe in,
I will exhale nothing.


Sunday, July 22, 2012

Otak & Hati


"Menangis lagi? Alahai hati, kau menipu ya?"

          "Tak, mana ada."

"Kalau kau tak berharap, kenapa boleh kecewa?"

          "Aku tak kecewa."

"Habis tu?"

          "Aku bahagia. Tak nampak ni? Aku ketawa."

"Nampak. Nampak kau lap air mata."





"Kenapa diam? Kenapa pendam?"

          "Kenapa tanya kenapa? Bukan ke otak yang kawal semuanya?"

"Sebab kau yang simpan semua rahsia."

         "Dah tahu rahsia, kenapa tanya?"






Gila. Aku dah gila!




20th July 2012
6:54 p.m

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Wishlist : Invisible ink.


Hey, may I have a pen with invisible ink?

So that people would not know what I have written, and sketched all over on those recycle papers.

People would not that I am corny. So they could never condemned me. So, you too, would never really knew. I miss you. I miss you much more than those sketches could disclose. Nights have been sleepless. Days have been counted. Writing has been paused. Book has been closed. Why am I wanting nothing?

That kind of ink would make me forget things that I wrote. 

I would forget the nightmare that I have had. So that I would not remember the feeling of 'no one cares'.

And when I look into my empty diary for July, I'll be like "Hey, it's there. It's just not there, it's invisible."

Even after I've written so much, I could act like nothing's wrong. Like how I act like I'm okay though I feel shitted, watching my mom gets weak. Watching her in pain. 

Plus, I don't want people to see my already-ugly-hand-writing gets uglier. If so, they would find out that I was shivering when I was writing. They would know I was sobbing. It's okay with the teardrops, I could lie to them, I could say that I was writing under a tree, in the rain. I could lie, you know? I am good at lying.

So.. Hey, may I have a pen with invisible ink?
            I don't want to sound pathetically unhappy like this.





Writer writes beautiful thing, who I ain't. 
I am just one of the people who write.

Saturday, July 7, 2012



Some things are better left unsaid...

















I hate it.




Thursday, July 5, 2012

Heartland.


Heart
Hearten
Heartfelt
Heartbeat
Heartstring
Heartache
Heartsickness
Heartbreak
Heartbroken
Heartless...


This is heart to heart,
       by heart.
From my heart of hearts,
       please have a heart.



FrAsyh's
5th July 2012


Tuesday, July 3, 2012

The.


2 a.m.
A month of Sundays.

The notebook.
The pencil.
The smile.
The reminiscence.
The silence.
The absence.
The closed eyes.
The teardrops.

.     .     . 


Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Seloka Si Kiambang.


Kasih dibuang, cinta ditayang
Sayangmu itu ibarat lalang
Ditiup ke kanan maka ke kanan
Dihembus ke kiri maka berlawan
Dulunya tuturmu berbunga sopan
Kini bahasamu penuh kiasan
Ragumu meliar tanpa bertunjang
Prasangkamu mula bertualang
Alangkah sedih hati si taulan
Tuduhanmu tidak bersandaran
Mengapa diturut galakkan syaitan
Hingga terjudi perkariban
Raut wajahmu seterang lukisan
Namun hatimu seapung kiambang.

© Fara Aisyah, 2012

This is my very first seloka, written for Ayah Agi's class 
and presented on 19th of June 2012.  

Ayah Agi is a great poet and he has taught me more than writing. He plays one of the biggest roles in my writer-in-the-making life. Semoga Allah balas jasa baik Ayah, I love you. :)

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Tukang Sunglap.


Kau rasa
        kau pandai makan, jadi kau pandai simpan?

Kau lupa
       walaupun malam tu kelam, bulan tu terang.

Aku ni
       nampak kau bogang, jelas terpampang.

Aku ni
       tahu kau menghelahkan, cuba memutar alam.

Kau rasa
       orang takkan mengadudombakan?

Kau lupa
       sedangkan awan pun bertukar hujan.

Aku ni
       bukannya berniat menjadi lawan.

Aku ni
       menulis sebab aku sayang.



Monday, May 21, 2012

Your heartbeat.


It is some kind of music
It is a sound
With lowest pitch and softest dynamic
Sound of music that makes me calm.

It is not really a song
But the rhythm is the rightest one
It is more like the dawn
That shows something new has begun.

It is our rhapsody
But it belongs to you originally
Now you say it beats for me
That's why it is such a harmony.

It is nothing complicated
Not like a symphony
But it has its own sonata
That makes me compose poetry.

But to me, it is a lullaby.
It is abating.
It is securing.
It sings me to sleep.

For you, Amier Nasir.


Sunday, April 1, 2012

Just an April Fool.


Today is the 1st of April. It's the day that we named April Fool.

It's the day when we make a fool of everyone. We bluff them, we prank them. It should be ended with laughter. 

But my April Fool story is different.

Before, I was really anticipating for today. Or should I say anticipated? Cause now it's all ended.

I still remember those days. Those morning texts, good night texts, and Call-Me-Back texts. Those nights when I looked for you if I couldn't sleep. The night when we're on the phone, and you told me your story. Since then, I spent my days worrying about you. I even still remember how worried I was. Have you eaten? Did you sleep well? Are you okay? How's your migraine? And I also still remember how you told me that everything is fine, and you would take care of me. How I should just focus on my study and you would find me a job in the world of writing. 

There was once, 2 a.m in the morning, I was awaken by your text. And you said, you're awake just to tell me, you love me. 

You love me? Loved me? I guess you've never did. 

"Nice to know that you were there,
thanks for acting like you care."

Why did you come? Why did you go? 

What did you want from me? What were you trying to prove?

You are just a fool. I am just fooled.

At the end, everything was just an April Fool.






Yet, I still remember how you said you would call back.