Hey, may I have a pen with invisible ink?
So that people would not know what I have written, and sketched all over on those recycle papers.
People would not that I am corny. So they could never condemned me. So, you too, would never really knew. I miss you. I miss you much more than those sketches could disclose. Nights have been sleepless. Days have been counted. Writing has been paused. Book has been closed. Why am I wanting nothing?
That kind of ink would make me forget things that I wrote.
I would forget the nightmare that I have had. So that I would not remember the feeling of 'no one cares'.
And when I look into my empty diary for July, I'll be like "Hey, it's there. It's just not there, it's invisible."
Even after I've written so much, I could act like nothing's wrong. Like how I act like I'm okay though I feel shitted, watching my mom gets weak. Watching her in pain.
Plus, I don't want people to see my already-ugly-hand-writing gets uglier. If so, they would find out that I was shivering when I was writing. They would know I was sobbing. It's okay with the teardrops, I could lie to them, I could say that I was writing under a tree, in the rain. I could lie, you know? I am good at lying.
So.. Hey, may I have a pen with invisible ink?
I don't want to sound pathetically unhappy like this.
Writer writes beautiful thing, who I ain't.
I am just one of the people who write.